Focker’s day began with a little surprise from Little Rock. We knew we were expecting a Caterpillar forklift. What we didn’t know was that Jan had asked Tom at Swift Forklift Services to paint the Cat in Kendra’s favorite color: pink.

“In all my twenty years in the business,” Tom said, “nobody has ever asked for a pink forklift.”

Go figure.

We immediately dubbed the new pink Cat “Kitty” and ran her off to the warehouse for a test spin.

Hello Kitty

Kitty quickly proved herself to be more maneuverable than our old friend Clark the Focklift. But, when Kitty balked and whined at the prospect of picking up a triple-stacked pallet of Alpo, Kendra pronounced her to be a “cranky little bitch that was acting her nails had just been painted.” (Which, in fact, they had.)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch….

Doc and Leroy prepared for the inaugural footer. And then, behold. It was poured.

Doc

Leroy

Giddy with excitement that construction had finally begun, everybody huddled up in the single patch of shade on the building site and commenced the ritual consumption of Budweiser, Crown Royal and Cabernet Sauvignon.

Michelle the Delifocker Raises a Toast

Next up: Adventures in Aromatherapy as Doc, Leroy and Little Apple rework the… shiver… grease trap.

Doc and Donny stopped by this afternoon to prepare for the first footer.

Alas, Kendra did not get to drive it

Doc tells us that there are several required parties that go along with any construction project. Since Doc is our Shaman, the Bearer of All Knowledge Involving Construction Customs and Rituals… we Believe.

We’ll be starting on the foundation under Shack v2.2, the new & improved shack, tomorrow. According to Shaman Doc, this is an event that requires the ritual sacrifice of beer.

Here’s where we ended up today:

Grand Canyon of the Fockers

OMG. We don’t have to drink the ritual beer out of the ditch… do we?

One of these days, we’ll get around to posting an illustrated essay about our move from the tiny little hut on Onyx Cave Road to our spacious new digs at 2100 E Van Buren. But today is not that day.

Why?

Because we’re off on yet another store expansion. We’re tired of unloading trucks like this:

Yo ho, heave ho.

Because it makes Kendra do this in the parking lot:

Focker down! Focker down!

Plus! You know how, when you come in to shop at Focker’s, how the right third of the store is blocked off, full of boxes stacked to the ceiling? And all you can hear from the right third of the store is the sound of rustling, thumping and people cursing? Every now and again, you hear Jean’s faint cries for help when she gets trapped atop a triple-stacked pallet of Gatorade?

We need to fix all that. We’re piling up housewares and clothing and tools and all kinds of stuff. We need a place to put it. So we’re building a warehouse out back.

As Granny Fanny Focker likes to say, “You have to break a few $1.75/dozen farm-fresh, free-range eggs to make an omelet.” Yep, we’re wreckin’ the place.

Here’s where we started:

The darkside - back of the building.

As of yesterday, all the exterior shacks are down, courtesy of Morrell Construction, and The Dons [cue theme from "The Godfather"] had started delivering fill dirt:

Shack down! Shack down!

The Dons dragged in a mountain of fill and sculpted it with their gigantic Tonka Toys. Alas, we missed The Don photo op on that one because we were… what? Unloading a truck out front. (Sigh.)

But, as of this evening, Doc the Concrete Guy was on site, scheming and plotting:

L-R: Don Tonka, Leroy, Doc

In tomorrow’s episode of Construction Porn, we’ll seek to answer two serious questions:

• Will Kendra the Focklift Driver get to drive the backhoe in exchange for her promise of Crown Royal?
• Does Donny, The Don (not to be confused with Don, The Don) ever wear a shirt?