Here at Focker’s, people often ask us, “So… WTF does all this stuff come from?”

In today’s episode of Products that Were Probably Destined, From Birth, for the Salvage Market… it’s … Products that Commemorate the Most Hated People in America.

The New York Post conducts a poll every year that asks, “So…who do we hate the most?”

This year’s winner is Casey Anthony by a nose. Kim Kardashian and Jerry Sandusky complete the trifecta, which means we get fine products like these:

Yes, it’s… Kim Kardashian Cologne and the Penn State Pillow Pet.

We understand why manufacturers dumped Kim Kardashian Cologne and Penn State memorabilia on the salvage market.

We do wonder who thought America would want to smell like Kim Kardashian in the first place.

These and other questionable products are at least 50% off suggested retail at Focker’s. At least.

In today’s news about Things You Might Actually Want in Your Home, we’re getting home and auto maintenance items later this week. Next week’s truck is kitchen gadgets and small appliances.

Do you ever see an item in the store and say to yourself, “Wow! What a great idea! I wish I woulda thought of that?”

Here at Focker’s, we often get products that make us say, “Wow! Who was the nutball who came up with that one and what was he smoking when he thought somebody would buy it?”

In today’s episode of Products that Were Probably Destined, From Birth, for the Salvage Market… it’s … Vibrating Mascara!

We are not making this up. Seriously. Here’s an official, promotional picture. Yes it’s…

Maybelline Pulse Perfection by Define-A-Lash Vibrating Mascara.

As the official, promotional materials earnestly explain…

“It’s our first vibrating mascara.”
(and, one hopes, our last)

“Transforms your lashes to perfection. Release the button to stop.”
(is it absolutely necessary to tell somebody to stop when she achieves perfection? isn’t that the basic assumption? what do you do when you achieve perfection? don’t you.. stop? if you’re the sort of person who continues to flail around, hoping to improve on perfection, Maybelline has some advice for you, to wit, “release the button.” words to live by we think.)

Vibrating mascara. It’s a fabulous product. Hundreds of uses. Or at least two.

Get your own at ‘Nother Focker’s downtown for pennies on the original, egregious retail price of $9.99.

Vibrating Mascara. Two bucks at ‘Nother Fockers. Scurry on in. This one is bound to be a collector’s item.